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Archive for the ‘Husbands’ Category

My husband and I have many ongoing debates.  One of them is whether or not I watch garbage television.  He seems to think that because he watches sports it’s somehow a different level of television watching.  It’s somehow less lazy to watch athletes because, well, I suppose someone is getting some exercise.  I don’t even watch that much tv anymore, to be honest.  Not because I don’t want to, mostly because I’m with the kids or on the computer or because up until recently we only had one TV and it was always playing sports.  Or sports highlights.  I used to watch a lot of reality TV when it first came out, I’ve since become more selective but he still seems to think that’s all I watch, and that it’s a total waste of time.  So… for fun I’ve decided to compare reality TV to his precious sporting programs.

  • they’re both actual people playing themselves
  • they’re both somewhat staged (he would disagree with this one but I know deep down it’s true)
  • they both involve teams of people fighting each other
  • at the end of the season there’s always someone who wins
  • the final episode is usually an extra long event that people throw mini parties for
  • the better the players do, the more money they make
  • I can watch both from the comfort of my own couch

In the end, they’re both entertainment only.  Watching sports is not somehow more active.  Playing sports is.  Competing on survivor is.  Changing the sheets while watching America’s Next Top Model… is.  🙂

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Okay, I can only really speak for myself and the girlfriends I’ve commiserated with but do men really have any idea what it takes to make us moms happy?  To all of you single mothers and fathers out there, I seriously applaud you.  I don’t know how you do it and I really hope I never have to find out first hand.  To all of you ladies with young children who find yourselves constantly frustrated and doing the “one up” dance with your partners, I think we need to have a chat.  And for the record, I’m one of you, but the more I think about it, the more it becomes clear to me where the problem lies.  Men are from mars… just kidding.  Seriously though, I think men truly believe we expect more out of them than we do.

Yes, it is very helpful if at the end of the day they pick up their socks and unload the dishwasher.  It’s nice if they sweep us off of our feet and arrange babysitters so we can go for romantic moonlit walks on the beach.  We know that they work all day or night just to keep food on the table and that can be just as thankless as being a mom.  We realize that when the baby wakes up six times a night, their sleep is disturbed too even if they don’t physically have to get out of bed each time.

So really, what more can they do?  Well, they can be understanding.  They can consider the fact that even if their day has been chaotic, ours has too.  For every fire they had to put out at work, we’ve had to put one out at home.  It’s not a competition, we’re not trying to take anything away from them.  We just want them to look at us and say “honey, you’re doing a wonderful job with our children and I know it’s not easy”.  Am I wrong ladies?

My husband is notorious for asking me what I did today and I immediately get on the defense, like that question is implying that I sat around eating bon bons all day.  In his mind I’m sure he’s just making conversation.  That’s when the fun begins.  Well, this morning he looked at me and made a statement about how he hopes I have a good day and can be strong for the kids.  He also mentioned how needy he expected our teething baby to be and how he would understand if our toddler ended up watching too much tv as a result.  I swear that was (to coin Oprah) my lightbulb moment!  That was all I wanted, to be sympathized with.  For him to recognize that a simple statement could make me feel validated.

And now I had better send him a note to thank him because we all know men thrive off of positive feedback.  😉

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